Please excuse my daughter...

Hannah seems to be going through a phase I like to call "how can I humiliate my mom today?" Well, truth be told she's going through many phases at the moment, but this one is the most mortifying.

She's the oldest, so of course we're stomping all new territory in the land of parenthood. I still don't know how I'm going to handle certain parenting situations because they just haven't come up. Most of her incessant, constant, oh my gosh why do kids ask so many dang questions are simple enough. "Where do apples come from mom?" Apple trees, sweetie. "How do plants grow?" The sun, honey. "Where does the moon go during the day?" Go ask your dad dear.

Then there are other questions. Other moments that I just want to melt into the floor right where I stand. Like loud and detailed questions in public restrooms. Pointing and staring when someone goes by in a wheelchair...followed by more loud detailed questions. Randomly introducing herself and siblings to strangers at the store, while declaring herself "A little shy" when we introduce her to friends at church. But there's one particular moment that will stand out in my mind for a while. And I handled it about as gracefully as a hippo on roller skates:

We're at the post office. I had braved it with no stroller/form of containment for the girls. The line didn't seem long. Still (very, hugely) pregnant with Collin, I assumed I could wrangle the two of them. Well, the woman in front of us had a similar little gathering of kids, about the same age as my two, and a newborn. Hannah shyly waived at newborn baby and squealed "Mom, it's a tiny tiny baby!" The mom heard her exclamation, and sweetly asked Hannah if she was going to have another a little baby like that in her house soon. Hannah looked up at me beaming, then replied, "Yeah!!! But our baby will be white!" I covered her face quickly, smothering the words "....not brown like yours" that she added. And then I wanted to die right then and there. The moms sweet smile disappeared and she suddenly found something very interesting to fiddle with on her package...in her purse....anything that meant not having to look at us. Mortified isn't even close to how I felt. Oh how I wanted to just say "Umm, I'm not raising a racist kid. Really. She's just suddenly very aware that people are different. And feels the need to constantly point it out. Constantly. And innocently. Because really, we're not racist. Really." But of course I just stood there, maroon with embarrassment, and waited for my turn. And that short line? Felt. Like. A. MILE.

And then there was that one time, TWO DAYS LATER, when she very loudly asked why the woman just one aisle over was "soooo big and fat?" I attempted to shush her, ducked down to her level for a chat, and glanced apologetically at the woman, who pretended not to hear her. (No way that she didn't her. People at the front of the store heard. Hannah's only volume is whisper, unless of course she's trying to make her mother die of shame. Then is top volume.) I leaned in close and gave her a "mom" toned lecture - "Hannah, you can't say things like that about people, it will hurt their feelings. Do you want to hurt peoples feelings? Is that nice?" "No, mom, that's not nice." "Would you be happy if someone said that to you? Wouldn't it hurt YOUR feelings??" "Umm, no, it wouldn't mom. Because I'm not fat."

Facepalm.

Momfail.

So yeah, clearly I don't have this mom thing all sewn up quite yet. Ask me where babies come from! Ask my how cellular mitosis works! Want to learn calculus?? Just for the love of Pete don't scream across the aisle "WHY DOES THAT MAN HAVE ONLY ONE LEG?!" when we're at Walmart. Cause I' might just pretend like I don't know you.

Mightaswell

Well, I opened this bad boy back up, I might as well use it right?!

I checked out a library book today. (Big whoop right?) I've been stuck in the house since my gallbladder surgery (a post for another time) and I decided to run in and let Hannah pick a few books. She did what she always does - ran along the kids shelves blindly pulling out book after book and proclaiming that she NEEDED THIS ONE SO MUCH AND OH CAN WE GET IT MOM. I obliged her half a dozen treasures and then moved us to the grown up section. I'm not super familiar with the set up...I don't spend much time anywhere but the kid zone. However, I managed to find something vaguely interesting, all the while prodding Hannah along. She decided that she needed to be SUPER QUIET in the library, which evidently requires her to take ginormous tiptoe steps and cover her mouth. Quite funny to watch actually. She even offered a few "get this one mom!" suggestions for me. But since her range of view was limited to the bottom shelf, I opted to pick my own.


So, now to find the time to actually read the dang book.

Blowing the dust off the old blog....

For a little craftiness!

One of my favorite pattern shops, Peek-A-Boo Patterns, is holding a sew off on her blog! I love challenges like this because they give me the chance to really step outside my comfort zone and learn new things.

Incidently, my project entry is a pattern from Peek-A-Boo! The Sabrina Shirttail Dress, which I am just in love with:

I found all this fabric and ribbon at JoAnns fabric and I just knew it would be perfect for this pattern!

So many fun details

 

And best of all, my daughter LOVES it! Can't beat that!!



And now, a few photos of my cute girls

Charlotte Easter Bunny

Hannah Easter Bunny (In the backyard watching the turtles with Papa. I was lacking big time in the picture taking this year at Easter)

These are all pics of the girls in the "Magic Window." It's so hard to get pics of them together these days. Hannah is all about smothering her sister in kisses and hugs and it's hard to get her to pay attention to me or the camera. Actually that's pretty much the case for her in general...she's a pill when it comes to picture taking. Such a shame, cause she's so dang cute :)

So yeah, those are my adorable kiddos!! Pictures like this keep me from losing it on days like today when they decide to take turns driving me UP THE WALL!!!

The one where I talk about life and random stuff

You know, I watched the show Friends for ages and it wasn't until recently that I realized that all the episode names start with "The one with/where." Not sure why that's significant, but there you have it.




The last few weeks have been a blur of life. Little Charlotte fits into our family like she's been here all along, but I'm still struggling to balance everyday responsibilities and life with a newborn. We also battled illness that swept though the house and affected every one of us in some form or fashion. I think that Hannah and I got the worst of it. Her with a case of croup, me with something akin in severity to the plague. I'm still not 100%, but thankfully I'm getting there.




It's amazing that somehow the first few weeks after Charlotte's arrival seemed easier than now. I'm not sure what's changed.


I have realized a great many things lately. First and foremost, I am raising two very different kids! In just 10 short weeks, Charlie has proven herself to be a drastically different kid. I'm not sure why, but I'm surprised by this! I guess I just thought that every squishy little newborn was pretty much the same for the first few months of life...not so much!



Seeing Hannah as a big sister has been quite amazing. She's so caring, albeit a little overbearing, and just adores her little sister. She runs to Charlie's rescue when she cries, constantly tries to give her binky to her when it falls out, brings her toys, sings to her, and always asks to hold her. I wasn't sure what to expect because I've seen and heard & seen some scary stuff in terms of big sibling/little sibling relationships. I think we lucked out! Sure, Hannah is a normal 2 1/2 year old and has her fair share of fits and terrible two-ness...but it's never directed to Charlotte and I'm extremely grateful for that.




It occurs to me that being a stay at home mom is much harder than I thought it would be. Not to be all whiny, but really, it is. It sounds great - all day home with my little ones with a giant tv, a computer, and more crafting items than I care to admit. However, it's also days filled with dishes needing to be done, mounds of laundry, and a never ending list of other chores. Not to mention, you know, the kid raising part. So yeah, waa waa and woe is me. I find that most days I don't even have the motivation to move from the couch. No exact reason why, just a lack of motivation I suppose. This usually results in days on end of the same ole same ole, and me looking back trying to figure out where my week has gone. It's like I have the desire to change things, but I just don't.




All of that sounded less depressing in my head.




There are nights when I'm up nursing Charlotte that I just sit and hold her and try to take in every moment I get to spend with her. I try to memorize every little detail because she's already growing so fast. I feel like I blinked and Hannah was two, and I worry the same will happen with Charlotte. Worry probably isn't the right word. I mean, I'm thrilled to see my children grow and learn because that's the goal, right? But a part of me is screaming to keep them tiny, sweet, and innocent forever. Guess I can't have both.






And now to switch gears completely - I'm thinking about making a switch to cloth diapers. Not because of a need to be "green" or anything tree huggerish like that, but rather because it just seems smart. And because, you know, washing poop out of diapers on a regular basis just sounds super fun. I still haven't decided 100% if I'm ready to make the switch for good. More like I'm sticking a toe in the water to see if it's the right choice for us. I don't feel like we spend a ton on diapers at the moment, but I suppose the money saving aspect will be nice as well. Right now, Hannah is getting to the point that she shouldn't be in diapers much longer, and Charlotte is in size 1-2 diapers which can be bought in boxes of a gajillion...so I don't think the change would seem very significant at the moment. But long run, sure, money saving. What I am starting to realize though, is that there are some hard core cloth diapering people out there. Hard. Core. Like crazy save the planet cloth diapering Nazis. I mean, it's great to have a cause and all, but some people might need to get a grip a little. Even if we make the switch, I don't plan to start ramming the idea down other people's throats...I know it's not for everyone. I just find it a little humorous that people can get so emotional over issues such as where a baby poops.




I seriously need to go do some clothes shopping. But here's the funny part - for the first time in my life, I DON'T WANT TO! I gained SOOO much weight when I was pregnant with Hannah. I'm pretty sure I wore maternity clothes for at least 6-8 months after I had her. For some reason though, I was ok with that because my maternity clothes still fit! It took me 6 months to lose the "baby weight" and then at least twice that many months before I was back to my normal weight. All in all I lost over 60 pounds. And you can bet your butt I was thrilled to go clothes shopping after that! This time around was so different for me. I didn't gain nearly the same amount of weight with Charlotte and at 10 weeks post baby, I'm within 10 pounds of my pre-baby weight. I should be sky writing that and doing a little happy dance. And yet I'm not. Because sure, the number went down, but my pre-baby shape is nowhere to be found. I was able to slip into non maternity jeans about 3 weeks after she was born. Sure, they were my "fat" jeans, but they were not maternity ones! I thought that had to be a good sign of wonderful fitting-back-into-my-old-clothes things to come. Well, those jeans are now WAY too big for me, however my normal jeans still don't fit. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle and it sucks. I don't really want to go out and buy new jeans either because I obviously would like to lose the rest of this weight (and maybe 5-10lbs more...) and just fit back into my old ones. So I decided to just go get a couple pairs to get me through this time of limbo...but I ended up leaving the store empty handed and frustrated. I tried on a size smaller than the "fat" pair that I can no longer wear...the were not even CLOSE to fitting - WAY too small. Umm, ok, next size up it is. Nope, still no luck. After the third pair, I was sincerely confused. I know that all jean companies are slightly different in sizing, but this was ridiculous!! For this particular brand, it seemed like I was going to have to get a size two numbers bigger than the pair I had at home that were too big. No way can they be THAT different...right? So, like I said, I just ended up leaving without buying anything and feeling rather misshapen and unhappy with myself. Of course not before I had to tear myself away from the yoga/stretchy pants section. Such simple sizes to choose from there, small, med, large, etc... AWFULLY tempting!! And don't even get me started on tops. Cause then I might just cry. So, in spite of the fact that I'm smaller (number wise) right now than I was the day I found out I was pregnant with Hannah....I'm pretty unhappy with my current "self." So what clothes have I been wearing? Lots of pj's when at home, and way to big maternity clothes when I have to leave. So I look perpetually pregnant. And lumpy.






I think I need to start setting goals for myself to help get through the day. That, and maybe not spend all day in pj's. Cause it's a little hard to be motivated to clean (or do anything else) when you're constantly dressed for bed. Or maybe that's just me.

Settling in

With hubby back at work, I'm venturing in the two baby water alone this week. So far, nothing too catastrophic! (Knock on wood) At just over a week old, we're no where near any kind of schedule with Charlotte. So there's been a lot of "play it by ear" going on around here. Luckily, Hannah seems to be taking it well. I'd say she's ramped up her fit throwing just a bit, but other than that she doesn't seem to really be affected.

And now, I will show off pictures of my cute little peanut:



Here's hoping that we can get through this adjustment period soon and find whatever "normal" is going to be for us. I'm itching to finish up some craft projects that are up in the air!!

And then there were 4

Charlotte Karene made her appearance this afternoon at 2:23pm.

Stats: 8lbs, 19 3/4 in. She was even kind enough to come out with a full head of hair, just like big sister!

We are so blessed to add another sweet baby to our family. While I don't think Hannah fully understands the situation, she seems to be smitten with "her" new baby. I know that the days ahead will bring many changes and sleepless nights, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!